Same Kind of Different As Me

After 8 years of ongoing work, I finished my masters degree last spring and spent the past year recovering from all the required reading I endured. I guess that explains why this Reading Specialist has had so much difficulty reading these days. I have at least 5 or 6 books I started, and then abandoned.

I used to read voraciously, often staying up until late into the night and telling myself, "just one more page" until my eyes were heavy, my curiosity was satisfied, and the book was finished. That's not the case these days.

I heard Ron Hall and Denver Moore speak last year and my curiosity was piqued. I got their book but didn't start reading it right away. It sat around for months like all the other books I have tried to read and couldn't finish. Once I did finally pick it up, it was the first book I have read from cover to cover for a very long time. I was pulled deeply into the story of these two men, brought together through unique circumstances. By the last few chapters, the tears were streaming down my face and I couldn't put the book down.

If you want to read it, I've got a copy of it and am willing to share. It tells the story of the unlikely friendship between a homeless man and an art dealer, brought together by an incredible woman of faith whose life of faithful service was cut short.

Most importantly, the book challenged me to live "outside of myself", not missing opportunities to give of myself to others and to the higher plan that God has for me.

10 Things I Love About My Life

(in no particular order)

1. My husband. I waited long enough for him, but wow--marriage is everything I had hoped it would be. "Ignore the nay-sayers" was the best marriage advice I received. We're not perfect, we both have lots to learn, but we are committed to learning each other and learning about life together.

2. My job. Yeah, the teachers are a pain in my butt sometimes, and I really miss the kids, but I am honored to be able to try to make changes within my school (on a good day) and support teachers who work their asses off.

3. My home. I didn't think we would be able to afford to buy a house in this area, but the down-turn in the market allowed us to enter the crazy housing market and find a place that we call home. May others feel welcome here and may we aspire to extend hospitality and honor guests in the way that I saw modeled by my Arab friends and neighbors.

4. Sunday afternoon naps. We are religious about our Sunday afternoon naps. Funny how that changes somewhere along the line, because I remember telling my mom and dad that they were "wasting time sleeping" on Sunday afternoons when I was heading out to play and have fun.

5. My family. My family is real--we have our warts and problems and issues, but I am so often amazed by the gift that my upbringing has been to me. I think of all the times we sat around the table and talked about and processed our days. So much of who I am was shaped during thousands of supportive conversations and guided problem-solving and wisdom that my parents gifted to us on so many occasions. I also love the new family I gained as a result of marrying Pete--great people!

6. My nephews. They are part of my family, but they get their own line! Jonathan and Jeremy (my brother Wesley's sons) have brought such joy to my life. I forget all difficult things in my life and have pure fun when I am with them. Jonathan's eyes and personality sparkles. Jeremy is the coolest kid who has a great sense of humor already at age 2. They are incredible.

7. My friends nearby and all over the world. I know some of the most incredible people there are to know. Good people who I am honored to call my friends.

8. Being able to call my mom and dad up to ask them how-to questions whenever I want. How do you make this? How do you fix that? What is the best way to do ________? Being able to do this is a gift I am treasuring.

9. Our housemate. Jen has been living with us now for 5 months. We love having her here as part of our family! She is such a gem.

10. The fact that I have a trip to Morocco to look forward to in April! I love the freedom that we have to travel right now. Having an international trip planned is something wonderful to look forward. I can't wait to see my dear friend Terri, who I learned to know in Cairo, who is now living in Morocco.

I feel like I could keep going, but I'll keep it to just ten things.

It feels good to be content.

Two Worlds Converge

It doesn't seem possible that it has been four years ago since I left Egypt and returned to the U.S. to finish my masters degree, marry my sweetheart, and be nearer to my family.

I loved living in Egypt. I found such a sense of satisfaction investing in the lives of young Egyptian students and challenging them to think outside of their stereotypes (which were amazingly strongly formed even by 6 years of age).

That's why from time to time when the two worlds converge, I feel like I've reconnected with a true part of myself that exists in another time and another place, but is still a very real part of who I am.

So the pizza guy stood at the front door tonight and as I balanced the pizza with the receipt he looked behind me at the 'tabla' drum in our foyer.

"Do you play that?" he asked. "No, but my husband has been learning to play,"

"Because that's an Arabic instrument," he continued. "Yes, I know. I brought it back with me from Egypt."

His face brightened and a more-connected-than-normal conversation with the pizza guy ensued. After he left, I was thinking about how that short interchange woke up a part of myself that I've allowed to go dormant.

Though I feel content to be settled for the time being, I love entertaining the thought of returning to live in the Middle East at some point in the future. Until then I guess I'll have to settle for things like the occasional chat with the Palestinian pizza delivery man and a two week trip to Morocco in April. Oh yeah.

Diagnose with Dinty

Throughout the last 6 months I have had a series of unfortunate medical diagnostic tests--one test leading to another, and then another. You could say the experience has reinforced my general dislike for visits to the doctor.

Of all the tests I've had to endure, tomorrow's test rates highest on the strange-o-meter. After fasting all morning, I need to bring two pieces of toast bread along with me to the appointment and then will need to eat a radioactive egg. Yup, you read right. This test will apparently show whether or not I am digesting in an appropriate amount of time.

What happens if you're allergic to eggs and you have to do the test? Why of course! You eat radioactive Dinty Moore Beef Stew instead. (!!??)

Confession

I'm not quite sure how I do it, but I manage to find ways to eat leftovers for days, piecing together meals from bits of this and bits of that. I just open the fridge and take the path of least resistance. It takes me back to my single days when I lived on leftovers, when anything that I made would last for days and days and days and by the 3rd day in a row of eating the same thing for breakfast, lunch, and dinner I'd get completely sick of it and vowed not to make it again for a really long time. Ahhhh the nostalgia.

My wonderful 6 ft 2 inch husband with wicked fast metabolism, has been traveling for the past week or so and though I miss him dearly, I am LOVING the fact that I have barely had to think about food all week. Friday evening I boiled some plain ravioli and just picked at them (and other random leftovers) throughout the entire weekend, even falling back into my old habits of eating out of the pan (why dirty another thing you're going to have to wash in the end?)

No time or energy or thought about what to eat, what to make, what to buy, what to clean up.

I'm lovin' it!

Fall Blooming Crocus

blooming

briefly

beautifully

-real?-

delicate life

gone

never realized

ache of winter

will spring come again

to bring hope?

28 hours in a day?

All of a sudden, the days seem longer. I don't know what to do with all this time I have acquired. I have had to fight the urge all week to produce, to measure every moment and pack it full. I will sheepishly admit that I've gone to bed early this week, not because I was tired, but because I didn't know what to DO with myself. I have had to talk myself into resting, to allow an evening to go by and be OK with having nothing to show for it. It is a new world for me...

Here are some of the things I've managed to find to occupy my time.

1. I've spent some time organizing shelves and drawers and closets that before I've peered into with dread and just shoved things into and shut the door quick, knowing I didn't have the luxury of time to do anything about the mess inside.

2. I've *thought* about reading for pleasure. I'm not quite ready to do this yet, but I'm happy to start thinking about books that I could read merely for the pleasure of reading them.

3. I watched a movie and went for a drive (for no reason) with my husband on a beautiful spring night.

4. I stayed at work late and still had time to relax and recharge for the next day.

And now, my greatest challenge will be to not fill my schedule back up. I lived in such better balance in Cairo--managing to balance friends and work and play SO much more effectively.

Balance is such a great and necessary thing to strive for and yet so difficult to achieve, isn't it?